Per Ardua Ad Astra
by Lana Archer
Summary: When the tomb-spell claims Sheila Bennett, Bonnie drops into a dark depression. Damon's realisation of Katherine's actions leaves him strangely in the same boat. They can't bring themselves to end it all but they know of someone who'd happily kill them if they asked.
1. Chapter 1

Per Ardua Ad Astra

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain it. They have yearned towards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I'm convinced it _will_ be reached – and _soon_ – because it has devoured my existence – I am swallowed in the anticipation of its fulfilment."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

Nothing.

The absence of feeling smudged reality into a watery mess. Tears were the only sign I was even alive. My breathing was slow and decided, but incredibly soft. My body was frail, beyond my small frame – I don't know when I last ate. Yet the fleeting thought of food was enough to pull me up and into my bathroom to heave aimlessly as I clung to the toilet bowl. The heaving drowned out the crying and for that I was morbidly grateful. She was gone and she took whatever was left of me with her. I could hear Jeremy and Elena clawing at the bathroom door to get my attention but it was hardly working. They were just making it harder for me to breathe through it all. I could still see her eyes distorting in colour as death claimed her. I could still remember my body's reaction to hers as the heat spilled away from her onto the surrounding earth as her heart slowed and then stopped. She left me here, _alone_. She left me with the memory of her violent and unnecessary death and with the weight of what I was. What I **am**. I couldn't even think the word, it reminded me too much of her. Wherever my father was I'm sure even he could find it in his schedule to grieve our loss of her. Sure, he'd never know the truth but her death remained. She was dead. Grams is dead.

"I'm so sorry" I cried into the porcelain bowl between retches. My body went limp and I let it. I had nothing to move for; my dad wouldn't be here for another few hours and I had no interest in seeing anyone else until then. So I would lay here and wait. I would make him take it all in when he got home; his daughter crumpled on her bathroom floor, listless and empty. Maybe that would evoke some sort of fatherly notion from him.

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><p>Nothing.<p>

There was nothing that could soothe the feeling in my bones, the incessant cold that froze me in place. Once it was apparent that Katherine wasn't in the tomb it was like it all slowed to a standstill. If I could breathe before I would have stopped. If I had a heart before, it would have stopped. I would have made it stop; I would have wrenched it out myself if I had the willpower to do so. I really wanted to, I really _want_ to. But I was frozen. Through all the lives I had lived, through everything I had survived I had done it in her name and for what? For her to have deserted our cause before it even had the chance to root itself in the earth? Longer than I cared to have lived I had done so for her, thinking that it would lead to our reunion. That once that dastardly glacially paced comet had reared its head again that we would be returned to one another. That once that tomb was opened and I laid my hands on her and reset the axis of my world – everything would fall in place. Yet, as fate would have it I was destined for nought. She was never in the tomb. She was never there. Every extracted heart, every blood-hazed feast in her name was in vain. Every fond memory, every touch, every lingering kiss, every passionate cry…

Nothing.

It was all for nothing. I had painted a romantic illusion for myself of the Shakespearean persuasion. I would extricate her from her near desiccated state and she would scramble towards me, greedily, sighing as we embraced. Star-crossed lovers, damned, and loving it. I had gotten one part correctly, it being a Shakespearean illusion, it ended in tragedy – for myself anyway. I was sure by now she had enshrined herself in the heart of another – many others. It was in her nature, and after it all I was still willing to love her and forgive her. I was willing to surpass whatever lingered in her system for Stefan and have my love and heart readily waiting in the palm of my hand. But not this. I could never forgive this. She had had a hundred and forty plus years to assuage my guilt and release me of her bonds but not once had she shown her face to do so. Her face – now Elena's, haunted my every moment, even now. But now, instead of love, lust and longing. I felt…

Nothing.

My knees buckled and I let them, falling to the floor of the living room in the Boarding House. I would lie here and wait to die. That was my only choice.

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><p><em>Two weeks later<em>

Bonnie drank distractedly from her bottle of water as she stared out into her front yard from her bedroom window. She had long ago told her friends to make themselves scarce. She didn't care for the mundane routines of the world, she _wasn't_ mundane. Despite her very best efforts she had been sucked into the spiralling vortex of the supernatural world and now it had spat her out. She could still feel it sometimes, the bite Damon took out of her. Sure, her skin had healed thanks to Stefan's well-timed intervention (excuse the sarcasm) but she could still feel his teeth every now and again. Scraping and taking, without remorse. She could feel the hole that wriggled in the crook of her neck and it sent shrills throughout her body. She thought about Damon often of late. She knew that Katherine wasn't in the tomb, somehow she wasn't surprised. Of course on top of losing her grandmother the forced efforts would all be in vain. Of – fucking – course. A snarl pulled at the edge of her mouth as she re-hashed the events of that night. The selfish, tunnel-vision driven wants of a vampire robbing her of what little she had left in the world. Like half-killing her wasn't enough, oh no, he had to go ahead and make her wish he had gotten the job done. Dropping the bottle onto the floor she changed into jeans and a purple tank top, stuffing her feet into her converse sneakers. She looked around her room unemotionally, not surprised when the only thing out of place was the plastic bottle she had held in her hand a few minutes ago. The room was hollow, not in furniture and knick-knacks, but in feeling. Closing her bedroom door behind her she made her way downstairs. She had to end this; she had to reach a point where she was satisfied with the outcome of the last month. She would finish this her way – the way it should have been had Damon gotten _his_ way.

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><p>Stefan had left an hour or so ago. Damon didn't care to confirm what time of the day it was. The sun rose and set, the stars laughed at him each night and the moon cursed his name. He was sitting in one of the high backed chairs when he first caught her scent. He knew he should have had some sort of reaction to her presence, but even as she zeroed in on his space he couldn't muster any movement. Bonnie looked down at him with quiet disdain, moving so that she crouched right in front of him at eye level.<p>

"You know as much as it pleases me to see you like this I need you to pretend to be alive for a few minutes." His eyelashes fluttered and then it all rained down on him. The empty tomb, the taste of Bonnie's blood, the otherworldly contrast of her eyes to her skin, her pungent scent that tunnelled through his nostrils to the core of his body. Tingles stirred his muscles and in a flash he was at the wet bar, pouring himself a drink. "Better" she commented, crossing her arms. He turned to her as he sipped his bourbon. He didn't trust his voice to speak. He hadn't said a single word since that night and he wasn't about to break it for _her_. "I want you to do something for me". Heat flushed his body as he listened to her and he barked a response before he could stop himself.

"Why in the hell would I do anything for _you_?"

"You wouldn't be so apprehensive if you knew what it was" she countered with a raised brow. He didn't have time for this; he needed to find a wooden stake to fall onto.

"Excuse me if I didn't allot any time in my schedule for philanthropy this week." He spat in return. She looked back at him, her usually bright jade eyes hardening in her gaze. A sudden burst of pain blossomed in the recesses of his mind; it's fist enclosing itself on the tissue and swelling until he thought his skull would burst at the seams. He dropped to his knees and his tumbler rolled away from him after spilling its content all over the wooden flooring. His hands clawed at the sides of his head in anguish, _but_, he thought to himself, _this is what I want – this is what I _need. A breathy laugh escaped him and he even managed a ghost of a smile. She didn't let up either.

"All I want from you is _one thing_ Damon…" she growled, as she stepped towards him. Did this girl have a death-wish?

"Funny," he huffed as he struggled to his feet, her onslaught ebbing away, "it has just occurred to me that I want something from you too" he said, his eyes dancing dangerously in her direction. She stiffened as his eyes roamed over her body. Her jaw tightened and she balled her fists at her sides, his gaze returned to her face and he smoothed out his features. They stared at each other for what could have been hours and a minute all at once.

"Kill me" they said in unison.


	2. Chapter 2

Per Ardua Ad Astra

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_It's wrong to anticipate evil – we'll hope there are years and years to come before any of us go."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

There wasn't much to be heard outside of Bonnie's breathing and heartbeat in the living room of the Salvatore Boarding House. Erratic and distracting as the rhythms were, Damon remained in a state of shock at the sudden turn of events. Bonnie's mind ran a mile a minute when Damon mirrored her sentiment. She simply stared at him, unconsciously looking at him properly for the first time. Anyone with eyes could tell you how impossibly beautiful Damon Salvatore was, surely even the blind could sense his vanity Bonnie supposed. With his perfectly pale skin, startling midnight hair and loaded blue eyes falling into their allotted compartments – making up his statuesque face. From his angled jawline that was only countered by his curved mouth, to his expressive brows and excellent teeth. And that was just his _face_ for heaven's sake! Damon scoured her features as well while she gaped at him. Her skin, first and foremost was essentially flawless but that was not the essence of its beauty. The hue of her skin, a light caramel colour coated every inch of her. This was offset by her emerald eyes, the contrast was jarringly beautiful. Her dark brown hair fell down past her shoulders in soft waves, sure, framing her face perfectly. But it was her mouth that was the centre piece. Much like his signature smirk, her unusually shaped mouth; echoing a cupid's bow in its shape was what caught and held his eyes – you know, _besides_ her eyes. Truth be told, when it came to Bonnie Bennett's undeniable (and underrated) beauty Damon was spoilt for choice with her aesthetic.

"So this is awkward." He said, finally breaking the silence that had followed their requests from one another. Bonnie blinked a few times before she wrapped her arms around herself. She hadn't been expecting it either.

"Why do you want to die?" She asked, casually. He managed a small smile at that.

"I could ask you the same thing." He countered to which she rolled her eyes.

"The difference is that I asked first smart-ass." She quipped.

"You're _seventeen years old_ Bonnie, and _barely_ at that, how much existential poetry have you read to reach this premature cynicism of yours?"

"I don't know so much about existential poetry but I know enough of Shakespeare's works to know a tragedy when I see one," Damon flinched at her words, "and this has nothing to do with my cynicism, if anything it has everything to do with my realism. I _want_ to die. My father will barely notice and seeing as you've robbed me of the shreds of family that I had before I have nothing tying me here contrary to what Elena and the rest will think," she inched forward, "I see nothing but death in my future any way Damon. It may as well be executed on my terms." He watched her wordlessly, she was being serious. "Any questions?" She asked jutting out her jaw at him.

"So ready to die…" He murmured to himself, "You have no reason to want it to end Bonnie you don't know a _thing_ about wanting to die." She frowned at him. "You _don't_. You haven't even lived yet. You have no right wanting to die."

"Why do you care? You had no problem biting a hole in my neck when Emily possessed me. You would have happily killed me. I still don't know why you haven't to be honest… I saw the look in your eyes the first time you caught wind of my scent… I know that because of magic my blood calls to you."

"Stop. **Talking**." He said through clenched teeth. Killing her wouldn't solve anything; he would still be alive and thus subject to an eternity of bitching on Stefan's behalf. Never mind if he killed Bonnie he would never be able to get close to Elena…

"_Why_? Afraid you'll give into your base instincts as a vampire? I don't care Damon, in fact I encourage it. Forget about Stefan's sulking and Elena's crying. They'll forgive you in time; well I'm sure Stefan will anyway. I'm just another body Damon. I'm not Katherine. I mean _nothing_ to you." Everything she was saying was true but a small, irritatingly persistent part of Damon held him in place. He wouldn't do it. Not in the next ten minutes at least. Although if she kept this up he might just have to lob her head off for some peace and quiet. But he could smell the salt on her skin; he could almost taste the deep sadness that hung on her words. She wasn't thinking straight, she needed to shut up and leave or at least squeeze his brains to mush before throwing herself off a cliff or whatever.

"I won't kill you because that's you being selfish and I don't mean that in a way where I care about your mental wellbeing. It's selfish because then no one will kill me and right now, my need to be selfish and die outweighs the want to oblige you." Damon rambled, trying to think through the haze of Bonnie's scent.

"So you combat my selfishness with that of your own? How Damon Salvatore of you." She scoffed. "Just stick your hand through my chest, drain me dry. Do it. I don't want to be a witch, I don't want to be seventeen, I don't. Want. To. _Be_." And to drive her point home she picked up the tumbler and walked over to the wooden bar. Smashing it on a corner of the wood she cut a deep line from her elbow to the crease of her wrist. Blood curled around the curve of her arm as she held it up. The scent permeated the room and made Damon's head spin. He hadn't fed properly in two weeks. She might just get her wish. "There we go." She cooed as the veins under his eyes wormed toward the surface of his skin. He wanted to throttle her. A harsh breath pushed through his body and he felt his fangs extend and a grunt reverberated in his chest, warping into a guttural growl. She didn't look afraid; in fact the smell of fear was absent.

"You're _insane_." He snarled. His body was shuddering with want, all he wanted, all he could focus on right now was the scent of her blood and it wasn't just calling to him. It was screaming at him, louder than a siren and it was deafening. So he gave in. Bonnie expected the pain that she experienced the first time he bit her but this was different. He wasn't snapping at her like a rabid dog; he merely sunk his teeth into her neck and _pulled_. Her body was soon limp into his hold as he drank from her. Her eyes danced behind closed lids and she sighed happily. He froze suddenly and pulled away. She attempted a frown at him through her blurring vision. She couldn't see what he was doing but next his wrist was clamped to her mouth and blood was pouring in – _his_ blood. Through shock she swallowed a healthy mouthful and he stepped away. As her vision cleared she saw him close the space between them, lifting his hands. Then everything went black.

* * *

><p>Damon couldn't tell you why he did what he did, not without delving into the truths of his soul and he wasn't <em>for<em> that. Mid-slurp he had decided to turn Bonnie. He figured still having her around would get Elena off of his ass and Stefan couldn't really be mad when the truth of the situation came to light. The chick wanted to _die_ right? So he killed her. But he also had the sense to feed her his blood before snapping her neck. So, Damon got a bellyful of her blood, Elena got her best friend and Stefan could maintain the pretence that he could control his older brother – _see_? Everyone's happy. While the vampire part of him was kind of bummed he'd never get to taste her quite _literally_ magical human blood again he could admit to being a little excited to see what Bonnie would become in her immortality. If she decided to transition that was. Shrugging and lifting her body up off of the floor before Stefan could jump to conclusions he made his way upstairs to his room where he already had a few bags of blood ready for her. He figured getting the whole dying thing out of her system would make her appreciate eternity. He was either spot on or he had just fucked up royally. Either way he couldn't care, he still had a buzz going. He placed her in the middle of his bed and paused as he hovered over her – she really was something. Even if she just turned out to be a new toy he could fiddle with he'd be alright with that, he hated wasting. Throwing a thin blanket over her he pulled out his copy of _Dante's Inferno_ and waited.


	3. Chapter 3

**Responses to this have been brilliant.**

**I hope you guys like this one too.**

**I disclaim EVER-Y-THING. **

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><p>Per Ardua Ad Astra<p>

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_Stretching an arm out to reach the importunate branch: instead of which my fingers closed on the fingers of a little, ice-cold hand. The intense horror of nightmare came over me; I tried to draw back my arm, but the hand clung to it, and a most melancholy voice sobbed "let me in, let me in!""_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

Bonnie wasn't entirely sure what the **hell** had just happened. She remembered feeling like she was slipping just under the surface of cool water as her body seemed to loosen and soften around the edges. Damon's mouth on her neck wasn't even registering anymore as the pain lulled away and something surprisingly peaceful took it's place. She remembered sighing happily when she felt the world tilt as Damon pulled away. Then came the confusion, the blurring vision and half-lidded eyes as she tried to see what was going on. Then came the copper sweetness that filled her mouth and slid down her throat almost _too_ easily. Then came a quick clarity just in time to see Damon's determined face near hers as he raised his hands and then - click.

Darkness.

She felt weightless, like she was hanging up in mid-air. She was sure she was dreaming when the darkness gave way to a sparkling brilliance and she could hear voices off in the distance. The voices grew louder and louder until it was like the words were being spoken right into her ear.

**_"So you'd lay it all out on the line for Elena, no matter what?"_** She knew that voice.

**_"No matter what."_ **Came the assured response to Damon's question. Wait, that was _her_ voice.

**_"Good."_ **Damon said, there was music in the background and the blurred imagery came into focus. What? Why were they dancing?

**_"You can't tell her."_ **She saw herself insist as the two of them moved around a crowded dance floor.

_**"Your secret's safe with me,"** _he shot out his arm and flung her around gracefully before pulling her back tightly to his chest, _**"but, I mean, with all that power, is there no way to increase your odds?"** _She saw surprise flit across her own features as her and Damon locked eyes. A smirk moved her mouth.

**_"Careful, Damon,"_ **her voice began to become somewhat muffled, **_"I might start to think you actually care."_ **What fresh hell is _this_? Before she could decipher any details of what she'd just seen another scene came into view. It was Damon, standing in the woods somewhere, but the forest didn't look like it was in Mystic Falls, the ground was drier, the earth looser and the trees more tropical. She could almost _smell_ the moisture in the air, was there a waterfall nearby? There was a crack of a twig on the forest floor and his head snapped in the direction of the noise. Utter relief flooded his features as someone stepped into his line of vision. Bonnie watched as she stepped around shrubbery and stumbled over to Damon.

_**"I could actually hug you right now."** _His voice echoed over and over in her head and then he did just that. There were more snapshots that assaulted her. There was Elena baring her..._fangs_? **Biting** her while Bonnie screamed outside in the school parking lot at night wearing a midnight blue ball gown. There was Caroline coming to her aid as she was being, _attacked_ - by twelve witches? There was Jeremy crying for some reason, and Matt too, even Tyler. Then there was the image of Stefan being sucked up into the thick grey night sky and Damon holding a fire poker to her throat, his eyes bloodshot and wild. There was Elena looking into another Elena's eyes, there was her kissing Stefan, then Damon, then Damon again and then Stefan and then Bonnie saving Matt from something, pressing her fingertips to the side of a man called Mason's face. There was a hybrid Klaus, his siblings, her mother, her Grams, Damon hissing at Jeremy through his teeth.

**_"_Don't_, say it."_** Damon growled, his bright eyes wide and horrified.

**_"Bonnie's dead."_ **Jeremy said, his voice thin and strained.

_**"Dammit Jeremy!"** _Damon barked, pacing away from the young boy, **_"This changes _everything_!"_ **He cried and then spun around quickly, seemingly enraged, as he reached Jeremy Bonnie was sure he would have hurt the poor boy, the look in his eyes a promise of that but instead Damon pulled a startled Jeremy into a hug while he tried to make sense of what he had just been told. Watching Damon react this way was confusing for Bonnie, more confusing than seeing these moments that to her perfect memory, had never happened. More imagery flooded Bonnie's mind, more _words_, more _terror_, more _blood_ and even more _violence_. It all slammed together harshly without warning and she found herself falling, screaming without an indication of an end in sight. What had Damon **done** to her? Had he _turned_ her? Bonnie's body hit the ground with a brute force that for the longest while she was sure had broken every bone in her small body.

"Stand to your feet child." A voice called to her softly. Bonnie groaned as her eyes opened gingerly and she got up to her feet with ease. Not even a hair out of place. She looked round her but all she saw was a glaring bright white. "What have you seen?" The voice inquired.

"_Seen_?" Bonnie asked nervously as she spun around trying to find the source of the soft-spoken feminine voice.

"I suppose it does not matter anymore anyway." The voice mused aloud pensively. "None of it matter unless you'd like none of it to change."

"You need to stop speaking in riddles and tell me where I _am_." Bonnie said, her voice finally coming through clear and strong.

"Stop trying to look for me," the voice said coyly, "You had _visions_ Bonnie, of your whole life, had that exchange with Damon not taken place."

"_Exchange_?" She echoed lamely, "He turned me didn't he?" she asked, giving up on trying to find the source of the voice.

"He did yes, which honestly, was the best case scenario all things considered." The voice said, "You are both in an incredibly desperate state of mind and by him turning you at the last minute..."

"What?" Bonnie asked when the voice never returned to complete it's sentence. "..._Hello_?"

"You're waking up," the voice explained managing to sound upbeat and playful, "It was lovely meeting you Bonnie. I hope you make the right choice."

"_Wait_!" Bonnie called out. "Who **are** you?"

"That's not important." Came the sweet reply.

"Then what is?" Bonnie pressed, feeling more and more like she was being propelled backward.

"**This**." Was the simple reply. Before Bonnie could respond again she was met with another 'vision'. Two figures standing in the forest, the earth under their feet shaking and the wind howling while bright white lights glared down on them. Bonnie felt her stomach bottom out when she realised it was her and Damon standing there, hand in hand, just, _looking_ at each other.

**_"Will it__ hurt?"_** she saw herself ask. Damon's eyes left her face for the first time.

_**"I don't kno-"**_

Bonnie hung precariously once more, somewhere between the folds of her mind. She could feel that gentle tug again, somewhere in her chest she imagined, to go somewhere. To go back. But where? And _how_? She felt something caress the side of her face, cool fingers trailing down past her ear and ending just under her chin. The touch was a welcome sensation among all the hysteria she had just experienced. Two electric orbs of blue exploded into her mind's eye. A colour so fierce and so unmistakeably beautiful, that it drowned out the darkness surrounding it. So she followed the light and hoped that it would lead her back into the world. _Her_ world.

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><p><strong>I hope this made sense. <strong>

**And I hope it was enjoyed.**

**Stay excellent**


	4. Chapter 4

**I know I've been taking forever with this but it really wasn't sitting right with me for the longest time …so naturally, I rewrote the entire chapter too many times and well. Here you have it.**

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><p>Per Ardua Ad Astra<p>

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_Notwithstanding my hurry, I staid to examine it, lest ever after I should have the conviction impressed on my imagination that it was a creature of the other world."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

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><p>I felt myself slowly return to my body and as confusing and overwhelming as everything had felt after Damon snapped my neck – when I felt myself settle back into the home of my skin I felt peace.<p>

For all of _**one**_ second.

Then the world came crashing down around me.

I could hear fluttering leaves outside the windows, the sound the fabric of the billowing curtains made as the wind moved into the room. I could hear cars, faraway conversations that felt like they were being whispered directly into my ear, I could feel the warmth of the summer day, could hear laughter, hooves skidding over the rugged terrain of the forest floor. I could smell the dry earth outside, the lingering smell of the varnish on the wooden floors, the sharp sting of bleach coming from downstairs and then I stopped, pulled it all back in and focused my senses of him when I heard his fingers turn a page. He was about ten feet away, in the corner of the room, smelling like what I assume catnip smells like to kittens. I pulled in a deep breath, no longer satisfied with the pre-existing air in the taste of my mouth when another sensation took over. My back arched as I heard him move, and sigh, pick something up and flash towards the side of whoever's bed I was lying on.

"You turned me." I groaned my body writhing as my eyes opened to scowl at him. I saw his face go from condescending to taken aback faster than I realised how blind I must have been before now to have missed his true beauty. Not a second later was I fixated on the plastic bag in the palm of his hand with the thick red liquid sloshing around as the weight of it adjusted itself to mould into his hold. My eyes went from the bag of blood to his eyes and back, quickly and repeatedly until he sat down and lifted my chin with his finger. I sneered and pulled away and that seemed to appease him, he must have thought it better than my open-mouthed awe at his appearance. "You turned me," I repeated, "_Why_." He didn't reply right away, he just kept looking at me as I drank in his features. This vampire I had come to loathe happily had changed my life irrevocably with a simple flick of his wrist. The same motion it would have taken for me to set him alight when I was a witch.

"You wanted to die so I _killed_ you." He said simply, like his words alone would fix everything. "I had the sense however, to give you my blood first." Why was he looking at me like I should have burst into a round of applause?

"Why? You don't even _like_ me." I reasoned, not without justification, he liked me about as much as he liked the idea of Elena and Stefan being together – common knowledge that. Then I _remembered_ – the **visions**. Quick stills flitted through my mind, like fond memories or photographs, his hand in mine, him holding me, us dancing, him putting a considerable amount of effort to bring me back to life, Damon **caring** about me – well, he _would_ have, if he hadn't just turned me. It was anyone's guess what happened now.

"I don't like anyone." He pointed out and I shrugged and nodded my head.

"I should transition and return the favour." I said my voice low and promising. He looked confused then, his thick brows huddling over his stormy eyes; _calculating_, obviously wondering how serious I was. "That is, if you still want to die?" He moved around on the bed to get closer to me and my eyes flickered to the blood bag again and then to his mouth and then up to his eyes when I finally got a handle of myself. He tilted his head then, in a curious manner, like something amusing had just been brought to his attention.

"Do _you_?" He wondered. My shoulders tensed as he moved even closer to me and I felt my body go stiff and tense, coiled for attack. "Don't move." He said softly and a rush of air shot out through my nose and I stilled my body. Whatever he wanted to do, he had to do it quickly. Horror washed away as confusion took place when I felt him trace the line of my shoulder, then neck and jaw with his nose. "You _still_ smell like fire." He whispered when he pulled away to lock eyes with me and I shrugged again. The motion unlocked something inside of me and I whimpered as my head fell back. The hunger was back and it felt like it was eroding my insides with a surprising ferocity – it felt like it was killing me, far too quickly to consider any other option but to satiate the obvious thirst. My body was growing exponentially weaker with each passing second, at the rate I was going if I didn't feed **now** I wouldn't be able to swat a fly – or _anything_ really because I knew I would be **dead** in a matter of minutes. Like _**dead**_, dead.

"Give it to me." I hissed hurriedly, "_Please_." It hadn't been longer than five minutes since I woke up, but I wanted that blood so badly I couldn't even look at it for fear trying to rip Damon to shreds to get to it. I winced and writhed on the mattress and lifted up the smell that lay dormant there – the smell of Damon rose up to greet my nostrils and for the smallest instance I forgot about the blood and before I could snap my eyes open and demand it I felt his body on top of mine. My eyes _did_ shoot open then and I felt my frame shudder. "What are you doing?" I ground out, ignoring how my body was still shaking with want. "**Give**. **Me**. **The**. **Blood**."

"Do you trust me?" He asked as he settled between my legs despite the frown that had overrun my features. He raised the blood bag between us and waved it around a little, taunting me. I didn't even care that he was on top of me, all I _wanted_, all I _needed_ and all I could _think_ about in that moment was the blood in his hand. I felt my mouth go slack and stars burst into my line of vision, this was _much_ worse than my first death.

"**No**." I growled, feeling the skin under my eyes start to tighten and rippled of pain danced under the skin there.

"Do you want this blood?" He asked, his voice taking on a hypnotic quality as he hovered over me, watching my face change into something monstrous and all too familiar to him. He was enjoying this far too much. Despite my want to remain in control I gasped and nodded my head desperately. My body was too weak to fight him for it, and I was sure he knew that. He was _literally_ on the verge of taunting me to death. I heard teeth ripping through a plastic seal and then I felt the blood pouring into my mouth. Some of it spilled over the corners of my mouth and pooled on either side of my head, _in_ my hair but I couldn't have cared if I tried. The taste was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my human life and as I reached the pinnacle of relief and admittedly pleasure at _finally_ drinking the blood a sharp pain shot through my entire frame and I screamed.

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><p>She was absolutely perfect. That was the first thought that went through my mind when she opened her eyes and glared up me from where she was wriggling about on my bed. Her dark brown curls had grown for some reason, her hair now falling so far down that it reached beyond her petite waist. Her green eyes shone with a fresh fierceness that reminded me of the most jade leaf caught in the spring sunlight. Her skin had dulled slightly, paler but still as smooth and as flawless as it had been when she came here convincing me to kill her. She was saying something I was sure, but I couldn't tell what. Off-handedly I was impressed that she hadn't simply snatched the blood bag from me with the way her eyes were shooting this way and that. Still as stubborn as ever apparently. Then her words came to me. 'You turned me,' she'd said, 'Why?' I supposed I owed her an explanation but I thought she owed me a thank you for not actually seeing it through, I still believed her to be too young to fully understand life and suicide. She was smart, but not <em>that<em> smart. She didn't have enough years behind her name to have learned the inevitability of life and the dire nothingness that could swallow you whole – she couldn't possibly. She started wriggling again soon after that and I watched in fascination. I knew I should have been helping her, feeding her and telling her it was going to be fine but something about her made me want to test her, push her a little and she if she'd snap. I wanted to see if she'd turn out to be anything like me. I didn't know why. I didn't know what I'd do if she was or if she wasn't, I just wanted to know and watching as the veins rise to the surface on the skin under her eyes was hypnotising. Pulling myself out of my head I poured the blood into her mouth and was a little shaken when I saw a shimmering something spread out over the surface of her skin, and this wall of heat blast off of her body, I heard my skin sizzle a little. Frowning I got off of her and the bed and fetched the second bag of blood, drinking some of it myself and pouring the rest into her mouth again. A short gargle cut off her screaming and then I heard her fangs slide out and she shot upright – eyes wild and searching. They landed on me and I wondered what would happen. Would she try and kill me? Would I let her? Did I _still_ want to die? A snarl ripped from her lips and I chuckled at myself, some things were simply out of your hands. And a new-born vampire who's Grandmother you killed and then asked you to kill her – yeah, that was definitely one of those things.

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><p><strong>Oh boy.<strong>

**Does Bonnie still have her powers? **

**Does Damon still want to die?**

**Who knows! **_**Heh**_**.**

**Stay excellent.**


	5. Chapter 5

**An update? So soon? Why **_**yes**_**, yes it is.**

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><p>Per Ardua Ad Astra<p>

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"…_You are mine! And we'll see if one tree won't grow as crooked as another, with the same wind to twist it!"_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

When the snarl ripped from Bonnie's lips something fell into place. A primal instinct reared its head and drowned out any sense of self she may have had. Instead all she saw was a vampire who wanted to die; a vampire who'd carefully constructed the events leading up to her Grandmother's death. She felt it all at once. The want to kill him, the want to drink more blood, the want to run through the miles of forest lands, the want to see her best friends, the want to reach out and touch him…but all she could focus on was the trepidation trapped in his bright eyes. Like for _once_, the power and control she wanted over him whenever he opened his snarky mouth was finally hers and heaven help her, but she was _loving_ it.

Then something unexpected happened – she began to glow. As she sat trembling angrily in his bed, deciding whether or not to launch herself at him as he stood frozen before her. A startling gold dust began to swirl around her person, clinging to her skin, vibrating on the surface as the pigments all fell into place – the sensation was indescribable. Akin to blood. In a flash she stood in front of Damon, her hair swinging lowly and beautifully around her face and down her sides. He had yet to move. She could see the gold glittering reflected in his eyes as he gaped at her. She searched his eyes for an explanation, some sign that this was what always happened to vampires when they completed the transition but she got nothing.

"My magic." She muttered and she watched Damon's mouth close quickly and his throat move as he swallowed thickly before his lips parted once more in awe. He began to nod slowly as he looked down at her. Before she really knew what she was doing Damon was thrown against the farthest wall, her hand raised to hold him in place again the cool wooden panelling. A startled breathy laugh passed between her teeth. She _still_ had her magic. She tilted her head slightly and moved her hand, watching with a wide smile on her face as Damon's body moved along the wall with the motion. "I still have it." She breathed.

"So it would appear, yes." He grunted as he struggled in vain against the hold of the small green eyed hybrid. "Enough experimenting." He huffed and she raised a single brow at him.

"I thought this is what you wanted Damon," she said, waving her hand towards her chest and floating him slowly over to her eyes dancing as he kept struggling against it, "This is what we both wanted isn't it?" She wrapped her small hand around his throat, her thumb pressed against his windpipe. "You told me I had no right in wanting to die but you killed me anyway so what kind of girl would I be if I didn't return a compliment in kind?" There was a manic look in her eyes then, something that reminded him too much of himself and he began to panic in earnest. He gasped quickly and repeatedly, his tense arms dangling helplessly at his sides as he fought against her magic. "You said that I didn't understand life and death but the look in your eyes right now…proves you wrong because you know nothing about it either. We had no right to demand death before our time." She nodded as the words left her mouth, she should never have fallen down into the darkness like she did. She would have still been human.

"I've died once already." Damon ground out, his eyes flashing.

"And yet the fear remains now in your heart. Becoming a vampire isn't dying…_is_ it?" She shook her head, answering for him as she squeezed a little harder, "When we die, _really_ die, it's not the pain we fear I don't think, it's the fact that we disappear permanently, ghosts and memories that will never truly suffice. Tragic." She mused aloud, snickering as small rivulets of blood curled around his neck and her fingers where her nails were buried.

"_Stop_." He hissed and surprise overtook her features.

"Not until you admit that you were wrong and that you want to _live_." She said, "When you can admit that we were _both_ wrong." She pressed even harder then and he cried out. "And _don't_ lie to me either."

"Fine!" He seethed, "We didn't have a right to want to die, I shouldn't have given in and drank from you, **but** I hadn't fed in _weeks_ and your blood was –" a gurgle cut off his words. Bonnie dropped him suddenly; her mouth turned down at the corners with a delicate frown on her face as she peered down her nose at him as he heaved and groaned on the floor. She dropped to her haunches and sighed, turning his face up to hers inspecting his fast healing wounds.

"So what do we do now?" She asked him, "I'm still hungry." Damon scoffed and shoved her away angrily and she tutted at him with mirth in her eyes when her sat up and scowled at her.

"You'll _always_ be hungry." He said knowingly, "And on edge and volatile, you just need to learn how to control it." Bonnie pursed her lips in thought and in a blink they were both standing upright and facing the other.

"Anything else?" She asked.

"_Yes_," Damon sneered, looming over her with lightning crackling in his blue eyes, "Do that to me again and I will most certainly return the favour." She stared up at him drolly.

"You're assuming that the next time I use my magic on you that I'll go easy and _trust_ me," she said eliminating the miniscule space that had been left between them until they were chest to chest, "I won't." There was a bout of tense silence then, both vampires glaring openly at the other when Damon's eyes flickered to her mouth and then back to her vivid eyes. She scoured his face then and the corners of her eyes tightened. "Don't even think about it." His blue eyes shone with mischief then.

"Too late." He whispered, dipping his head until their mouths were inches apart.

"Haven't you taken enough from me?" She wondered aloud, softly, her breath swirling up and calling to him, her heady scent curling into his space. His one hand curled around the back of her head, at the nape of her neck while the other found a home at the curve of her waist.

"But you have so much more to give." He muttered confidently, edging infinitely closer to his goal. Her gasp parted her lips and Damon's mind zeroed in on its prize. Her eyes fluttered closed and he moved then, slowly and determinedly until their mouths ghosted past one another's. Her magic tickled the skin of his mouth and he was already addicted.

"Stefan." She breathed and Damon's body froze with horror. "Stefan's here." She explained and shot away from him. Damon's jaw was locked tight, they were trapped, Bonnie didn't have a daylight ring and the sun was still out. They both heard Stefan's footfalls approaching his door and Bonnie's eyes darted this way and that and before Damon could stop her she was at the window, not even a millisecond later Damon had her pulled away from it with an incredulous look on his face at her idiocy. "It _didn't_ burn me." She hissed. "**Look**!" She showed her thin arms, flipping them over and lifting her brows at him. Damon heard Stefan's hand close around the doorknob and the next thing he knew he and Bonnie had landed in the back garden and sped off into the surrounding woods.

"Damon?" He heard Stefan call into his empty room.

* * *

><p>"…I <em>have<em> to tell them, they're my best friends." Bonnie said with a bit of a huff as she twirled around on her hands, her feet circling the air as she fooled around with her gymnastic skills and her newfound strength. She bent her torso backwards with her hands still holding her up until her feet met the ground as well before she flashed upright with a happy smile. Damon was standing a few feet away frowning as he looked this way and that. "What?"

"The sun's still out." He said as he pointed an accusatory finger at the orange and pink sky that was shining through the tall trees. Bonnie looked up, pretending to be surprised before looking at Damon strangely. "Vampires burn in the sun without a spelled ring _Bonnie_."

"Sure. _Vampires_," she said as eyed out a tree in front of her before climbing it in the blink of an eye and then wiggling her fingers at Damon as she sat on a branch directly above him, "But I'm also part witch remember? Or should I remind you?" He pulled a face and she giggled before patting the space next to her on the sturdy branch and Damon rolled his eyes before coming to sit next to her.

"This isn't _normal_ Bonnie." He said after a few moments of them watching the sun go down. She laughed softly.

"Damon, I was a witch and you're a vampire – what part of _that_ was normal? Now I guess I'm just a new kind of supernatural and that's kind of cool." He regarded her askance and blew out a breath from his mouth and pursed his lips. "Earlier," Bonnie said, turning around and throwing her legs on either side of the branch to face him fully, "When I said Stefan's name you looked set to kill. Why?" Damon's body went stiff.

"That doesn't matter." He said through his teeth.

"Didn't say it did," she pointed out, "I just wanted to know because you were about to kiss me."

"Something I _won't_ be doing again," he vowed, "Not if this has to happen each time."

"_Please_," Bonnie said with a soft snort, "I'm not an idiot. You totally want me." Damon laughed loudly then. "I'm serious," she said, locking eyes with him and nodding, "When you turned me I saw my human life played out until I died Damon and guess what?"

"_What_?" He asked, drawing out the word dramatically as his eyes bulged in an effort to entertain her obvious hallucinations.

"You loved me." She said confidently, nodding her head and wriggling her eyebrows at him, "Try as we both did to repel the other, we were always there and we may not have said it but we both cared about each other enough to hold hands as we died together, just the two of us." She said waving a hand between the two of them.

"_Bull_shit." Damon scoffed.

"Well it won't happen _now_," Bonnie said her eyes narrowed and her mouth quirked to the side like she was talking to a child, "You changed everything when you turned me."

"Apparently." He muttered and sighed as he looked up at the sky.

"So when can I tell them?" Bonnie asked and Damon groaned. "I'm only asking because I'm going to tell them the _whole_ story and someone _might_ try and stake you. Elena probably."

"She wouldn't kill Stefan's _brother_," Damon said, covering the bottom half of Bonnie's face with his hand when she tried to interject and say otherwise, "It's _Stefan_ I'm worried about. He's been itching to vervain me and toss me into a cell to desiccate." Bonnie shook her head.

"I don't even _want_ to know." She muttered before dropping down to the forest floor with Damon landing next to her gracefully. "Can I stay at yours? I doubt I'll be able to sleep in a house all by myself." Damon shrugged in response.

"Sure… good thing too, 'cause now you kind of need to be invited into your house anyways." Damon pointed out before walking off into the darkening forest whistling a familiar tune while Bonnie stood there frowning unhappily.

"_Shoot_." She mumbled her eyes downcast as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Come on!" Damon called over his shoulder, "Let's go tell my brother I killed you." Bonnie's head shot up and she jogged to his side with disapproval on her face. Damon nudged her shoulder with his mouth spread into a mischievous grin. "I'll race ya." He goaded her and before he could think of getting a head start she'd sped off into the bushes. With a short chuckle he leapt and ran after her.

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><p><strong>Well would you look at that, Bonnie's a Vitch. Feisty one at that.<strong>

**Let me know what you think and as always, stay excellent.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Writing for a 'bad-ass' Bonnie is a little **_**too**_** much fun.**

**Control is a BIG theme in this and seeing as she's a brand new vampire, she doesn't really have much experience in that department and it's pretty entertaining.**

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><p>Per Ardua Ad Astra<p>

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_It was just then when the people were bearing the coffin from the house; he had the hypocrisy to represent a mourner."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

They'd both skidded to an abrupt halt when they heard Elena and Stefan's voices talking softly from somewhere in the lower region of the house; the den was lit up and so was the back garden with a few well-placed lamps planted between the trees and along the walkway to the patio.

"Oh _poo_." Bonnie said with a sigh upon hearing her best friend's voice.

"What? Isn't this what you wanted?" Damon asked, peering warily over the bushes in the back garden of the boarding house. Bonnie pulled him down roughly to scowl at him as they both crouched behind a wall of wild-flowered shrubbery.

"No _asshole_! I wanted to tell Elena and Caroline at the same _time_!" She hissed and he rolled his eyes at her dramatics.

"Who cares? Blondie will find out anyway." He tried reasoning, widening his eyes at the green eyed vampire huffing impatiently at him.

"_I_ care Damon, I committed suicide remember?" She pointed out with a raised brow and Damon spluttered at her logic. "I'd rather only have this conversation once."

"Well for 'suicide'," He said, curling his fingers around the word his tone as condescending as it always sought out to be, "You weren't really that hands-_on_ now were you?" He countered as he tried peeking through the thick wall of greenery. She scoffed incredulously and smacked the back of his head, pleased when his wide angry eyes met hers a moment later.

"Speaking of," She started off hotly before her expression softened, "Thank you." Now it was Damon's turn to look at her like she'd lost her mind. "I know nothing good could have come from that situation I put us both in even though _really_, it was all _your_ fault anyway, or Katherine's take your pick. But my point _is_," She said with a wave of her hand before he could interject, "Thanks for not _really_ killing me but that doesn't mean that I don't still hate you. You killed my Grams."

"And apparently me 'teaming' up with a Bennett to end their lives is becoming somewhat of a tradition," Damon mused, "Your Grams knew what she was getting herself into." Bonnie's nostrils flared as her undead skin managed to seek out a slight flush. Her anger spiked and before Damon could regret his words she'd spun around and kicked him in the chest so hard that he flew across the wide expanse of the garden landing with a loud slam on his back.

"Say that again!" Bonnie roared as she flashed after him, straddling him as he blinked away the stars in his eyes, gripping his throat and holding his limbs down with her magic. "Say that again Damon, I _dare_ you."

"**Stop** – _choking_, me." Damon managed to wheeze out and Bonnie's green eyes darkened to a swirling black as the veins rippled under her eyes. Damon's vision blurred along with the night sky behind the seething Vitch.

"What is _with_ you and your aversion to _accountability_?" She half-screeched as she felt her vampirism rush to the front and her hold on him tighten. His eyes bugged out in a way that was wholly out of his control and an ever-growing part of Bonnie was finding a gleeful satisfaction in that. "Why can't you just admit when you screwed up, **huh**?!" She lifted his head up, about to slam it into the thick earth.

"_Bonnie_?" Stefan's voice stilled Bonnie's frame and pulled her face back to its human form, though her hold on Damon stayed as her head spun to see Stefan and Elena jogging over to them. Stefan looked frightened and unsure of what he was seeing while Elena's confusion was as clear as day. Damon's face had paled impressively as he spluttered against Bonnie's grip on his neck, his whole body numb and limp under her control. "Bonnie, what's going on?" Stefan asked, as he and stopped a few feet away, afraid they'd make it worse if they got too close.

"He said my Grams knew what she was getting herself into." Bonnie said her voice small and childlike suddenly, creating a jarring contrast as to what she was currently doing to the elder Salvatore brother.

"So… he's letting you kill him?" Elena asked, pointing a finger at Damon's panicked face; with throbbing veins pushing to the surface of his skin and spittle shooting out of his mouth from his desperate breaths. Bonnie looked over at Damon, and the same anger rushed to the surface again and she couldn't help the sneer that stayed on her face as she turned back to face the other couple.

"Does he _look_ like he has a choice?" She spat as she pulled Damon's head back a little more, ready to slam it into the ground and seek out something to stick in his heart so that he could finally stop reminding her that her Grams had died for a woman who hadn't loved him anyway. She couldn't think past her want for him to die at this moment and Stefan could see as much.

"_Easy_!" Stefan called out, his palms shooting out to stop Bonnie, whose mouth curled into a snarl in response, "I'm sure we can talk about this? Bonnie, I haven't known you long but I don't think killing a vampire is something you'd want on your hands…"

"Why not?" She wondered aloud as she looked at Elena whose brown eyes were wide and terrified. "It's not like she was the only real family I had left…Oh…wait. She _was_." Bonnie's face took on a scary serenity that sent chills through Stefan and Elena.

"Bon that's not true!" Elena said, taking a small step forward, "_I'm_ your family, Care is too and Matty and Jer…We all love you."

"And yet I was the only one mourning the death of my grandmother?" Bonnie bit out. Elena's mouth opened and closed aimlessly after that and Bonnie's head fell back in a demented chuckle, when she sobered she locked eyes with Elena, "Did you know that I died yesterday?" She asked.

"Bon, you're scaring me…" Elena said, edging even closer, stilling her movements when Bonnie's eyebrows shot up in warning.

"Good. I should scare you a little I think," Bonnie mused aloud as she looked down at Damon's head that was seconds from breaking off in her hand, "How else are any of you going to respect me?"

"What do you mean you _died_ yesterday?" Stefan asked, his head tilted slightly to the side and he wondered if perhaps Emily hadn't had a hand in this, or even Sheila – as some twisted parting gift…however delayed. Moving her wrist at just the right angle Bonnie snapped Damon's neck and flashed to her feet as she dusted off her knees quickly and then her hands as she turned to face an open-mouth Stefan and Elena.

"Oh," Bonnie said lightly and turned a little to nudge Damon's lifeless body with her shoe, "I asked Damon to kill me yesterday because the thought of living any longer made me want to _kill myself_ but…being human _little-old-me_, I didn't have the guts to do it so I wondered…" she moved then and paced with the grace of a prowling panther, "Who would want to kill me? Who is the _most_ opposed to my existence right now? Who do I know that's partial to gnawing _holes_ into innocent witches' throats?" She tapped her index finger to her chin a few times before her eyes lit up and she gestured grandly to an immobilised Damon. "Damon Salvatore!" She exclaimed with an unnerving euphoria, "But then the funniest thing happened," she went on and went back to pacing, "It turned out that _he_ had plans for his own demise and then tried as much as his blood-starved body could to convince me to kill him _but_ the scent of my blood tipped the scales in my favour," a small part of Bonnie was aware of how Elena had started to cry, "But for some _unknown_ reason the bastard fed me his blood before snapping my neck." She locked eyes with Stefan then who had turned to stone it seemed, his face was frozen in a barely controlled rage but the new Bonnie was able to pick up the small tick that had begun throbbing at the skin in the crinkled corner of his left eye. "Imagine my surprise when I wake up wanting to drain the world dry." She said spinning around and picking Damon up, tossing him over her dainty shoulder like he was a rain coat or something. "But don't take my word for it, I'm sure he'll have his own version to tell you when he wakes up," she walked passed them then, stopping next to Stefan momentarily to say, "Don't kill him just yet Stefan, I'm sure he'll make it up to me."

* * *

><p>When Damon came to he was <em>pissed<em>. Even when he blinked and opened his eyes to a scowling Stefan. He shot upright and massaged the back of his neck more because of the memory of Bonnie strangling him than any residual pain.

"_What_." He hissed, surprised when Stefan threw a blood bag his way before sinking back into the soft upholstery of the couch opposite the one Damon had woken up on.

"Bonnie told us what happened." Stefan said his voice almost robotic. Damon rolled his eyes as he drained the bag at lightning speed. "She also came pretty close to killing you."

"_Don't_ remind me." Damon hissed angrily, his hands clenching into white-knuckled fists.

"What are you gonna do Damon, _huh_? _Scowl_ at her until she dies?" Stefan quipped. Damon barked a humourless laugh then.

"That is hil_a_rious coming from you Sir Frowns-A-Lot." Damon retorted childishly.

"Do you realise what she _is_?" Stefan asked, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper and Damon feigned camaraderie as he leaned in with wide wondering eyes before sneering and scoffing at his brother's behaviour.

"Yes, _idiot_, I realise what she is. It's _my_ blood that turned her, remember? She's a hybrid. A Witch/Vampire, _thing_, a Vitch…or, and more appropriately, a _Wah_-mpire."

"A '_wah'_-mpire," Stefan asked staring at his brother drolly, "_Really_ Damon?"

"I just got attacked by a psychotic Vitch; I think we can let my lame jokes slide." Damon bit out through his clenched teeth as he narrowed his eyes and set out his senses, to see where the pain-in-his-ass in question was.

"She's upstairs with Elena." Stefan said and Damon flashed to his feet then.

"_Sure_ Stefan, why don't we just shove Elena's pretty little neck into Bonnie's mouth while we're at it?!" Both brother's sped upstairs and to Stefan's room where the two were sitting. Elena turned, smiling at Stefan and then narrowing her eyes at Damon who tutted before locking eyes with Bonnie who'd had her eyes on him the whole time.

"So I guess we're even then." Damon said as he walked further into the room.

"We're not," Bonnie said as she stood to her feet, "Not unless you have a living family member I can toss onto the sacrificial altar of my unrequited love."

"Touché Vitchy." Damon said with a tight smile and she flashed her teeth in return, the word 'smile' not really fitting the notion behind the gesture. "You know, I much preferred it when you were seconds from kissing me." Elena gasped then while Stefan covered his face with his hand and Bonnie flashed until she was inches from Damon. She held her hand up to Stefan to stay away.

"You mean when you were seconds from kissing _me_." Bonnie said, her tone riddled with warning and Damon smiled. He had a love/hate relationship with death and seeing Bonnie get angry at him like this was calling to a deeply rooted part of him. He'd decided the first time that she'd throttled him like a wayward snake that if the pain of loving and losing Katherine became too much one day again he'd ask her to kill him. Because he _knew_, he'd seen it in her eyes earlier before she snapped his neck; she'd kill him if it came down to it.

"And how could I resist?" Damon asked his voice dropping as his gaze once again flickered between Bonnie's emerald eyes and her alluring mouth. Bonnie tisked with mirth dancing in her gaze.

"I keep forgetting about the _obsession_ you have with rejection." She quipped and even though her words stung Damon he buried the unpleasant sensation that threatened to own him and grinned down at her.

"You have _so_ much to learn." Damon retorted with that arrogant self-assured disposition he always reverted to.

"If these lessons you have planned result in anything similar to the _hot mess_ you call your own life then forgive me if I'd rather remain obtuse." She snapped sassily.

"Alright you two," Stefan interrupted having had enough of their back and forth, who knew when one of them would decide to have a physical go at the other? "Bonnie, if you like I'd be happy to teach you the ropes."

"Not a chance!" Damon snapped, turning to snarl at his brother, "She's _mine_!" Bonnie and Elena frowned at that, their mouths slightly parted in synchronised shock. Stefan's face grew dark and angry, something neither girl had seen before either.

"You've hurt her enough don't you think?" Stefan asked, with a brow pulled up to his forehead, daring Damon to argue, "And all you've done since, that I can tell, is antagonise her which, as you _know_, isn't healthy for a new-born."

"I don't care what you think Stefan, but you are _not_ training her, or trying to feed her rabbits, or turning her into a prettier, younger version of your sullen, incredibly _annoying_ self."

"As opposed to _what_?" Stefan goaded darkly, stepping into Damon's space, "You turning her into the woman who never loved you?"

"_Oh no_." Bonnie muttered under her breath. She felt the exact moment when Damon's mood shifted. The next thing either girl knew Damon had thrown Stefan against a nearby wall, having broken a sliver of wood from the shelf as he sped to press up against his brother who gasped in surprise.

"It's one thing for Bonnie to throw her ignorant commentary about my love life in my face but I will **not** take it from you!" Damon roared as he impaled the stake into Stefan's stomach, his own heart equal parts pleased and distressed at the sudden turn of events.

"Stefan!" Elena called out, leaping to intercept Damon, or something equally idiotic, crying out in defiance when Bonnie caught her around the waist and pulled her back.

"_Relax_," Bonnie commanded her best friend before turning to call to Damon. She had been lying earlier when they were in the forest, she knew all too well why saying Stefan's name when they were moments from kissing had caused that reaction with Damon. She'd seen glimpses of it in her speedy visions as she transcended from human witch to vampire witch. "I choose Damon." she called out and she felt the tension fall away from the moment as Damon's body relaxed, "I choose Damon." she repeated. A sigh of relief fell from Elena's lips as Bonnie and Damon let her and Stefan go simultaneously. Elena ran to Stefan's side and cradled him in her arms as he heaved and tugged the wood out of his stomach. Damon turned to Bonnie then, the look on his face unreadable.

"Let's go." He said simply and flashed out of Stefan's bedroom.

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><p><strong>Just how much has Bonnie becoming a vampire changed everything around her? <strong>

**Believe me when I say there are plenty more fights to come.**

**Stay excellent.**


	7. Chapter 7

**You guys are amazing. **_**Seriously**_**. Our love for Vitch Bonnie shall see us through. Enjoooooy.**

* * *

><p>Per Ardua Ad Astra<p>

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_I know, by instinct, his reserve springs from an aversion to showy displays of feeling – to manifestations of mutual kindness."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

"You know, when you said '_let's go'_ I didn't really expect to end up in your room again." Bonnie said as she trailed a finger down the intricate details that ran along the frame of one of his armoires.

"What? Did you want to learn how to feed and not kill humans on the first night?" Damon asked with his eyes wide and his face the epitome of a condescending asshole. You'd swear she hadn't handed his ass to him _twice_ today. Or maybe he was into that kind of thing; she ran her eyes up and down his body before settling on his face, schooling her features to an appropriate blankness.

"You tell me Damon, you're the one who's been alive for like… 150 years." Bonnie quipped as she crossed her arms, her ears picking up the sounds of Elena and Stefan having some heated debated before she refocused her senses on the brooding vampire in front of her. "What?" She asked when he settled on simply staring at her. Wordlessly he flashed out of his room and she groaned, flopping onto the centre of his bed with her face pressed into the bedding. She snickered as she lay there, aware of how she no longer needed to breathe so she could literally lie like this for hours. She felt the mattress dip and she rolled onto her side to look up at Damon who had something in his hands.

"I have something for you," Damon said and Bonnie's weary eyes turned wide with surprise, "Well not like, _specifically_ for you but for the person I one day decided to turn into a vampire and keep around with me." Bonnie lifted herself up onto her elbow as she frowned down at his fisted hand resting before her. "It's not a romantic gesture, if anything, it's practically a formality, but I just wanted the person I turned to know that their Maker wouldn't desert them like Katherine deserted me. Even when I thought she was stuck in the tomb, the fact that I was experiencing the supernatural world with nothing but a bitter brother by my side a small part of myself began to resent her…I just happened to love her a lot more." Bonnie swallowed uncomfortably at his honesty and watched with bated breath as he opened up his hand to her eyes. Resting in the centre of his palm was a thin silver chain, pooled around a lapis lazuli ring. The ring itself was square cut with a white gold band running around it with small, _so small_ curlicue designs on the surface. The silver metal encroached onto the stone with spiralling patterns. It was _distinctly_ feminine and this surprised Bonnie. "I found this chain for you because I know technically you don't even need to _wear_ the ring…but I thought at the very least it could serve as my version of a peace offering."

"You wanted to fall in love again." Bonnie gasped softly, her malachite eyes still glued to the ring in his hands; she trailed a hesitant finger over the item in his hand before her head snapped up so that their eyes could meet. "A part of you, no matter how small you made it out to be hoped that if not Katherine, that you'd find another to love." Damon's face stayed blank.

"It doesn't matter." Damon said in a gruff voice, holding out the jewellery, "It's yours now." Bonnie took it and a smile tugged at the edge of her mouth as she looked up at him again.

"Will you put it on for me?" She asked, spinning around faster than the blink of an eye, with her hair already pushed to the side, ready and waiting. She felt his fingers move quickly, snapping the necklace in place and then fluffing her hair out to its original position down her back. She turned her body slowly back to face him, her one hand holding the new gift between two fingers and a silly smile on her face. Why did Damon Salvatore have to be the first boy to get her a necklace?

"Do you like it?" He asked and she laughed softly at the question.

"Of course I do," Bonnie said grinning as she met his gaze, "It's beautiful, who wouldn't love it?" The closest thing to a genuine smile she'd ever seen on his face passed over his features then before he cleared his throat and frowned when he heard the front door slam shut. Seconds later Stefan flew into the room, murder in his eyes.

"_Damnit_ Damon!" Stefan snapped, tugging Damon by the back of his t-shirt until the unsuspecting vampire fell to the floor with a grunt. Bonnie flashed to her feet and without much thought she blasted Stefan away from Damon with her magic.

"Stefan, _enough_!" Bonnie barked as she stepped between the two brothers, Damon already on his feet his heaving chest right behind Bonnie's back as she glowered over at his brother. "I understand that you and Damon have eons of bullshit to deal with but can we leave the impromptu meltdowns to **me**? **I** am the only one in this room who should be acting like a crazed lunatic. And _trust me_, the urge to tear the world apart is still very much present and neither of you are really helping right now." Stefan's face relaxed then, and he looked suddenly tired.

"Is she sired to you?" Stefan asked, looking over Bonnie's shoulder at his brother.

"Have you ever met a sired new-born obsessed with throttling her Maker?" Damon pointed out incredulously.

"Can both of you stop pretending I'm not even here?" Bonnie snapped as she moved so that she could face them both.

"Sorry." They said in unison and then proceeded to glare each other down and Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"I'm hungry." Bonnie said with a slight pout as she rubbed the bottom of her abdomen absently as she looked between Damon and Stefan who were now locked in on her presence.

"There's bagged blood downstairs." Stefan said, turning to leave the room as he scratched the back of his neck, "Damon will take you."

"Yes he will." Damon ground out and Bonnie tugged her arm out of his hold when he tried to steer her out of his room. She noticed Stefan frown when he saw the ring resting against her sternum but he flashed out of the room a second later.

"_Boys_." Bonnie muttered as she followed Damon downstairs and to the cellar.

* * *

><p>Bonnie was frozen still as she stood hovering beside the kitchen counter in the Salvatore home. Damon sighed again, for the third time in the last two minutes or so of him watching her pretending to be a mannequin.<p>

"Could you at least blink and mix it up a little?" He snapped, pulling her focus up and onto his face before it flitted back down to the bag of blood in front of her. Her curious mouth moved to the side then as she pulled herself out of her head.

"I don't want to drink this." She said, lifting her gaze back over to him. His fourth sigh was the most dramatic of the lot as he flashed to her side and spun her body around to face him.

"Look," he began, his dark eyebrows lifting and shaping his face into one of business and swiftness, "I know your type, and you need to get used to drinking human blood from the bag because the likelihood of you being able to hold it together right now trying to feed directly from the vein is slim to none." Bonnie's green eyes began to darken and he smiled tightly in response. "See?" he pointed out with a distinct I-told-you-so lilt in his voice. "We don't really know _what_ you are but from what I can see, and from what you've _done_ to me since you transitioned, you're not ready."

"I didn't kill _you_." Bonnie pointed out and Damon scoffed.

"What do you want? A gold star?" Damon quipped.

"Didn't peg you for the positive-reinforcement type but sure." Bonnie replied her smile slick with malice. Damon shook his head at the both of them; they could bicker for hours, he was sure.

"Just…_drink_ it, Bonnie." He said, moving away from her and picking up the blood bag to hold out to her. "Drink it so that we can all go to sleep and pretend that this day never happened."

"Why," Bonnie asked as she stepped forward and took the bag from his hands, her focus equally split between the texture of the item in her hand and the vampire in front of her, "Are you still mad that I strangled you twice and had ample opportunity to kill you today?" Damon's head bobbed a little as he smiled briefly at her suddenly brazen attitude.

"_Why_," Damon asked as he cleared even more space between them and dropped his head down a little to look into her eyes, "Are you still mad you didn't?" She grinned then and her eyes flitted down to the bag and Damon crossed his arms as he watched her face transform. He watched as her pretty green eyes were lost to a sea of red and black, her unnecessary breaths hitch in anticipation and her fangs falling gracefully out into view from their home in her mouth. To say something stirred in his chest at the sight of her was an infuriating understatement. With one final hesitation Bonnie's mouth wrapped around the connector of the bag and she began to drink. Damon could see the quick shudders of satisfaction roll over her body repeatedly as she gave into her base vampiric instincts. She exhaled raggedly and locked eyes with him, her face still contorted in its newly found supernatural state. He watched as she slowly raised a hand to her mouth, feeling for one of her extended canines, undead eyes bulging as her fingers came into contact with one. The other hand trailed over the skin under her eyes, feeling the texture as the veins worked and danced there. She moved her hands away and looked at them, a small smear of blood on the hand that had been near her mouth. A split second later the finger that had the excess blood was in her mouth, her eyes fluttering closed as she relished in the lingering high from her feed. When her eyes opened they locked with Damon's as she slowly moved her finger out of her mouth. She couldn't help but move impossibly close to him as a throbbing primal instinct called to her attention. He looked at her, his focus going from one of her eyes to the other and back, trying to make sense of what he was seeing and what he assumed her to be thinking when she grinned suddenly and gripped him roughly by the back of his neck. Pulling his face down to meet hers she let out a soft moan and took in a deep, steady breath.

"_**More**_." She growled.

* * *

><p><strong>Vitch Bonnie is BEST. <strong>

**Hopefully Stefan will leave them alone long enough for them to see if they should revisit that kiss or not…Hmm.**

**Stay excellent.**


	8. Chapter 8

**This one is for **_**Swurve**_

* * *

><p>Per Ardua Ad Astra<p>

(Through Adversity to the Stars/Immortality)

"_One hoped, and the other despaired: they chose their own lots, and were righteously doomed to endure them."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte_

"If you let go of my neck I'm sure I could get you some more blood." Damon said after a few moments of Bonnie's eyes just being locked on his mouth and her laboured breath curling upwards into his nose. She smelled like _blood_ and _magic_ and she needed to get off of him and soon too before they revisited that 'almost' kiss. Damon caught himself wondering if Bonnie wasn't right about him wanting her like in her vision…because right then he was sure he _could_…and _badly_ at that. She yanked her hand off of him and shoved him a ways away for good measure, obviously trying in vain to clear her head. Her eyes went back to their human state but the pupils stayed dilated as she rode out her high. "Don't move or …touch anything really, I'll be right back." She nodded numbly, still in a haze as he flashed out of the kitchen. Bonnie drew in a slow breath and felt it move inside of her; she felt the unnecessary oxygen swirling aimlessly in her chest and she felt the craving for more blood, for more of Damon, hell, she was sure with the way she was feeling right now _anyone_ was fair game.

"Are you feeling okay?" She froze with one hand pushing her fringe out of her face and the other on her mouth as she turned guilt-stricken to look at Stefan. In a blink her hands were at her sides and she was nodding as seriously and as convincingly as she could muster. "Look, about earlier –"

"You're sorry, she gets it." Damon interrupted with a sharp smile at his younger brother, nudging Stefan's shoulder as he moved around him to get to Bonnie who's eyes were glued on the bags in his hand. "Come on Vitchy, let's get you to bed." Bonnie followed after him like a mindless drone, not even saying anything to Stefan or even looking his way again.

* * *

><p>"I think you might have had a point." Bonnie admitted begrudgingly as she pulled the blankets away from the pillows and wriggled her shoes off. Damon raised a brow as he himself sat down on the other side of the bed as Bonnie snuggled down into the hold of the bedding. After that whole little incident in the kitchen where she nearly went all <em>Jennifer's<em> _Body_ on his ass, maybe she should look into the whole 'control' thing…

"I always a have a point." Damon tutted with mirth in his eyes as he dangled a blood bag over her head. She snatched it away with a scowl and drank from it, with more control this time as she was pleased to see.

"Not true," she said after she swallowed a mouthful of blood, "You just really like hearing the sound of your own voice most of the time." She waved a finger at him as she took another sip.

"And you don't Miss _Snarks-A-Lot_?" He rebutted and she shrugged as she pulled on the blood bag until it was empty. "I've barely known you long and I know you like those long-winded monologues about _righteousness_ and good prevailing over evil."

"Does this look like good prevailing over evil to you Damon?" She asked with a wide smile, showing off her blood stained teeth, chuckling when he frowned. "Didn't think so." She handed the bag back to him and he gave her one more. She lifted a curious brow but he shrugged and said nothing of it. So she drank it.

"I'll start teaching you the tricks of the trade tomorrow," he promised, "But for now I suggest you let your body rest and acclimate." She finished the blood and sucked her teeth clean, handing him the empty bag.

"Sounds dull." Bonnie said with a perfunctory smile which Damon returned sardonically. "So does this mean you'll tuck me in?" He leaned in and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Good girls get tucked in Bennett, bad girls like _you_ get a few bags of blood and a tap on the nose." He pulled away and flicked her nose then with a smirk. Bonnie wanted to say something biting in return but her belly was full and she was getting tired.

"It doesn't make sense for vampires to be so tired, aren't we like _Eveready_ batteries or something?" Bonnie asked with a small hand-covered yawn.

"Vampires, yes, _Vitches_, apparently not. Now get some sleep." Damon said, standing to his feet.

"Fine, but if anything goes bump in the night I'm sniffing you out." Bonnie said as she flopped onto her side with a long groan of satisfaction as she settled into the mattress.

"Like hell." Damon hissed half-heartedly and turned off the light.

* * *

><p>"Longest day, <em>ever<em>." Bonnie said the next morning with a yawn as she arched her back and stretched her muscles as she moved around under the covers. Her eyes shot open and a devious smirk crept across her features as she flashed upright and eyed out the room she'd slept in. Just as she'd hoped there was a sound system set up in the corner that had enough dust on it to make her nose curl upward at the thought of touching it, but she wouldn't have to. Waving a hand in its direction she spelled it to play 'Factory Girl' by _The Pretty Reckless_. She shimmied her shoulders as she sat in bed before threw the bedding off of her body. Getting up she swung her hips and her hair to and fro, raising her hands as she clapped her hands in time with the bridge.

_Wait a minute girl_

_Can you show me to the party?_

"I'm waiting for my man on Hollywood and Vine…_so fine_." Bonnie sang as she swung her head this way and that, letting her hair dance along with her. She could feel her magic percolating in her system, humming just under the surface of her skin, simmering along with the incessant hunger Damon had warned her about. The two sensations were equally as present and equally as _distracting_…but she managed to shrug it all off as she moved along to the sounds of Taylor Momsen's voice. The music cut off as she spun around when someone cleared their throat.

"I was coming in to check on you anyways when the music started," Stefan explained as he stepped away from where he was leaning against the open doorway with his hands behind his back, "I figured I could let you get through the second verse before I interrupted." Bonnie smiled as she curled a finger through her hair.

"How kind of you." She said teasingly and looked down at herself with a frown on her face. Stefan noticed her eyes trailing over her clothes and smiled softly.

"Which brings us to the point of my visit," he said revealing what he had hidden behind him, "I was at Elena's and I brought this back for you." He held out an overnight bag of hers that she always left at Elena's for emergencies. Apparently turning into a Vitch was now one of those.

"Thanks." Bonnie said, flashing until she stood in front of him to take the bag, he nodded and watched as she walked to the bed to see what she was working with.

"You know; you could always just go to your house and get your dad to let you in." Stefan said his voice careful.

"And then what?" Bonnie wondered, pulling out high waisted denim shorts and another tank top, a black one.

"Get some more of your stuff and make your move here official." Stefan said easily enough, crossing his arms as she turned to eye him out like he'd just lost his mind, "Trust me when I say it's safer for you and everyone if you stay here for the time being." Bonnie locked eyes with him then and something else fell into place. The look in Stefan's eye made it all real somehow, so _suddenly_ and Bonnie nodded as she swallowed thickly. She'd made some choices and now she was …immortal. This was as old as she'd get, and as it stood the only people that were a guarantee in her life were two brothers who wanted nothing more than the other to choke on vervain. She exhaled and rubbed a hand over her forehead.

"You're right." Bonnie conceded with another nod and Stefan gave her a smile that was both endearing and sympathetic – it made a part of her shrivel up and fall off…in his eyes she saw the seriousness of the situation, of what she was now capable of. Stefan, in that moment was the personification of all the consequences of throttling Damon, mourning her Grams and turning into a vampire…

"Are you okay?" He asked, suddenly in front of her. Bonnie looked up and she wanted to nod and reassure him but she couldn't. Her eyes welled up with tears and without a thought he pulled her into his hold, her arms immediately wrapping around his waist, "You're fine, I'm here, Damon too, we'll help you." Bonnie nodded as she buried her face in his navy blue button down shirt.

"Will it always be like this?" She asked after she steadied her breathing and pulled away from him, "Will I always be this …_unstable_?"

"Bonnie, you're what…a _day_ old?" Stefan asked with a lifted brow, "A few tears are a given, plus, I don't think anyone's going to hold strangling Damon against you…least of all me." Bonnie waved off his animosity but nodded gratefully.

"I just don't always feel like I have control over myself. It's like," she looked up and away from his face as she tried to form the sentence in her mind, "It's like something decides for me…when it comes to the physical stuff I mean, the blood, the fighting, it all happens before I even register any of it…and then all the _thinking_ and the _feeling_…I feel _**crazy**_ Stefan." Her green eyes were wide and sad and it pulled at Stefan's undead heartstrings.

"Well you're not." Stefan assured her with a small smile, "In fact, you're a damn sight better than I was when I turned, Damon too…the only reason we can help you at all is because we were way worse than you are now so we know exactly what the worst case scenario looks like."

"Good to know." Bonnie said with a chuckle, her fingers absently running over the ring as it lay nestled against her under her tank top.

"That ring…that Damon gave you, can I see it?" Stefan asked, already moving towards her.

"Hands off the Vitch." Damon bit out, sweeping into the room and flashing until he stood in between Bonnie and Stefan, his back towards her. Bonnie pulled him until he stood next to her.

"We're **not** doing this." Bonnie said, her eyes moving between Stefan and Damon. "I don't want to hear _anything_ out of _either_ of you regarding how '_terrible_' you both are…I don't _**care**_ okay? _**No**_ one does, except the two of you and _**that**_ means that you both love each other but are too stubborn to do anything but seethe about it – spare me. Now if you don't mind, I'd like you both to leave so that I can shower and start the day like a normal per – vamp – a _**whatever**_… Just get out." She waved them off and grabbed a few things before stomping into the adjoined bathroom. Stefan and Damon stared at the door she'd clicked shut.

"She's something else entirely." Stefan muttered as he heard the shower start. Damon nodded distractedly.

"She's incredible." The dark-haired Salvatore agreed before turning to glare at his brother. "And she's _**mine**_."

* * *

><p>"What do you mean I have to wait until the sun goes down?" Bonnie groaned.<p>

"Do you want to do this the right way or not?" Damon asked, crossing his arms as he watched her run her fingers over the spines of the books in his library. She'd worn the tank and high-waisted shorts with his ring dangling prettily from her neck. He liked her in black, being obviously biased to the colour himself, but he could get behind her blue denim shorts…because of _her_ behind in her blue denim shorts.

"Am I going to need a cape then?" She quipped as she opened a copy of _Call of the Wild_, "And lemme guess I need to avoid garlic, pointy pieces of wood and churches?" Damon sighed exasperatedly as she sneered at him. "I'm not an _idiot_ Damon, I'm pretty sure all I need to figure out is how to _not_ kill someone, how to properly compel them and practice being stealthy so I don't end up with a stake in my boob."

"You know," Damon said as he walked up to her to snatch the book out of her hands, "I'm starting to prefer when you and I _weren't_ on speaking terms." Bonnie rolled her eyes and flashed to the other end of the room, _away_ from him.

"You're just in a pissy mood because of your brother." Bonnie said with a look on her face that dared him to dispute it, "And you know what? He's in a pissy mood because of you and _**I'm**_ in a pissy mood because of _both_ of you so I want to go out _**now**_."

"We're waiting until sunset." Damon said evenly. Bonnie's eyes popped.

"It's not even twelve o' clock in the afternoon!" She exclaimed to which he shrugged.

"_Do_ something." He drawled. "_Inside_, obviously." She growled low in the back of her throat.

"I'm going home." She said suddenly, marching to pass him and to go and get her car keys. Damon's blue eyes turned to saucers.

"I'm sorry, have we not established your lack of control? You're _**not**_ going home."

"Your right," Bonnie threw over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs to the room she'd slept in, "_We_ are."

* * *

><p><strong>So we have a meet and greet with Bonnie's dad and her first <strong>_**Vampire 101 Class**_**. With Damon in tow…let's see how well that works out.**

**Stay excellent.**


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